There is something so refreshing about a new year & that’s what prompts the reason for a lot of those ‘new year new me’ posts that we all roll our eyes at & you can roll your eyes at this one too if you like but it’s not a new year new me because after 25 years I’ve learnt that I actually quite like being me even when i’m a bit difficult.

So this is just 6 simple things 2018 has taught me.. Let’s see if anyone can relate?!

1. Not Everybody is for everybody & that is okay

I began this year feeling very socially anxious & in constant worry of offending people with passing comments or just not being able to make friends. This mainly was in my workplace. I felt as though I needed to fit in; working with children means mostly working with female colleagues & as most women will admit; we can be catty at times. This got me feeling very out of my comfort zone & always 2nd guessing myself & doubting myself. After leaving this place I’ve learnt that it really didn’t matter that I couldn’t gel with everyone because really I’ve always been quite introverted & anyone who matters will get my best side & those who don’t just don’t quite get past my guard.

2. Do Not become absorbed in work

Work can be stressful & difficult at times. I love my job & working with children definitely motivates me. However don’t become so absorbed & spend all your time focusing on work. I want to thrive & do my best & be the best me at work but also at home too. 10 hour days are tiring but what’s more tiring is finishing & spending the rest of your day going over what happened at work. I was going to sleep repeating conversations & dreaming I was at work & waking up just to go back & do it all again. Nothing worse than being totally consumed & not having time to just be you. My mood dropped, my anxiety heightened & I feel part of me began neglecting putting effort in with friends & even my partner. Work is important & I get that but sometimes it is okay to switch off & make time for those important to you because not everyone is around forever.. so get a catch up coffee with your friend; call your mum & have some self time away from work.

3. You get back what you put in

I feel like this works with most things (I won’t say everything as i’m sure that’s not quite accurate) but if you put in effort you get the rewards. With friends, with work, definitely learning that with starting a blog. You put in the effort you get the outcomes you hope for. Its hard work sometimes but you have to climb the mountain to get the beautiful view from the top. Sometimes life is unfair & i’m sure everyone has felt this but if you don’t keep picking yourself up you will always remain at the bottom. Some days sitting having a duvet day is okay but always make sure that once you’re feeling up to it; you rise back up & give it your all.

4. Trust actions not words

This is a very obvious one & I may have caught onto this sooner than 2018 however i’m definitely still learning. Not everyone will say what they mean & not everyone can explain exactly what they mean. People do convert when discussing with other people because other peoples opinions will change their attitude. When dealing with someone trust the actions, how many I miss you texts do you receive but with no actual effort to see you? How many times has someone ‘arranged’ to meet you but always has an excuse for no show. I’ve spent too much time on people who weren’t worth my time & have been guilty of neglecting the ones who show me they care. Give to those who give back. Be forgiving as everyone has their own life but if you find yourself constantly being the one putting in the effort & not feeling appreciated then look for their actions. My biggest flaw with this (this year… eye roll please) was at work. Do not always trust words because actions will always speak louder.

5. Confidence is key

I’m not going to claim to be the most confident woman in the world because I am far far far far far FAR from it. However what I mean with this is accept when you are being told you are good at something, take it in & let it fill you with just a smidge more confidence because we constantly tell ourselves we’re “no good” “ugly” “fat” “not good enough” so when someone says the opposite embrace it. Let it become you because you deserve to own it when you work for it. You’ve lost 2lbs but your goal was 6 & someone tells you.. “you look like you’ve lost weight” accept it! Good for you! You get a good review at work & your boss tells you how well you’ve been doing?! GO you! You are great at your job & you deserve to know & feel it. I’ve learnt this because I spend so much time being like ‘if you say so’ ‘aw thanks’ but not feeling & accepting it. I walked into an interview with huge anxiety & every time I tried to prepare panic hit me & I just gave up; but I walked in smiling & knowing that even if I didn’t get this 1, there would be others & I have always been told i’m good at my job so I will own that & lucky me.. new year, new job. Be humble but confident.. even if only a little bit!

6. We don’t have enough time

At the end of the year 2018 right before Christmas I lost my Godfather. Which to some people is sad but not the worst thing ever however mine was my best friend & so it certainly was 1 of the worst things in the world for me. It was a total shock as he was ill but not to this extent & was always checking his blood sugar & checking up regularly at doctors, eating right & ticking all the right boxes. I’ve never experienced grief this way. I’d only seen him 26 days before & never expected I wouldn’t again. Everything at this point hurts. New year without him sounds like the worst year ever. So even though it’s so Cliche & something we all must know by now it is something 2018 definitely drummed into me. I never took him for granted & I can be at peace knowing that however 1 last hug, 1 last conversation about me being a bit of a whirlwind & him giving the best advice. 1 last car journey where I sing Whitney at the top of my lungs & he looks at me like i’m a fool & laughs. 1 last Staffordshire Oatcake we would both share. 1 last morning hearing him whistling around the house. What i’m trying to say in my little ramble is that we haven’t got enough time so those little things you love about someone grab them up! Cuddle those you love, even the things you think annoy you about someone I promise you will miss. I’d give anything for me to be in a cranky mood & him along side me nudging me saying “its not the end of the world.. that’s tomorrow” every little moment becomes a memory & i’ll cherish them all always.

This time of year I’m always very conflicted; I love the colours & the crisp air when you step outside. It’s the most beautiful time of year but it’s always the time of year where I hit a low. I’m growing though because rather than letting myself be wrapped up in sadness & anxiety I’m motivating myself for new changes & better things coming. Watch this space.. making the last chapter of the year one to remember.